Daycare Discipline: Dealing with Older Children

by Gene Ballou at 8/1/2005 7:38 am

Older children present their own special set of challenges in the Daycare environment. They are bigger, smarter, and more aggressive than preschool-aged children. They also have comparitively twice the life experience of the younger children, and know a great deal more about how to manipulate other people. So you as a Care Provider will eventually have the unpleasant task of dealing with older children who can be aggressive, dishonest, even violent. Here is a short list of tips that can help you face even the worst of situations!

1: Keep a Close Watch
This subject occupies a whole section in our Staff Policy Guidebook. I think that so much of safety, sanitation, and peace at Daycare lies in prevention through awareness. If we are constantly alert, watching carefully and staying close to potential problems, then much of what can happen, won’t happen. Children can be devious and perceptive, though, and even when we’re staying alert and watching closely, they will sometimes get away with things they shouldn’t. However, keeping a close watch will keep “mishaps” down to a minimum.

2: Be Fair and Consistent
Children of any age or background will be more likely to respect and listen to someone who shows no favoritism in discipline or rewards. I personally have disciplined my own son in front of the other children, just so they know that I don’t play favorites. I also believe in consistence in discipline, consistence in rewards, and consistence in honesty. I don’t change the rules without a very good reason. The children know when I walk in exactly what I expect of them. They also know what makes me happy, because I tell them every single day “That makes me happy!” when they do something good or right. Last of all, but most important in my mind, they know without a doubt that I will do what I say I’ll do. If I say they are going in time-out if they do “that” again, then I will make sure they go in time-out; even if it interferes with something else I planned or needed to do. On the other hand, if I promise them a reward (such as a piece of candy for helping to clean up) then I will make sure, one way or another, that they get that reward. So they know they can trust me to keep my promises, both negative and positive.

3: Practice the “Golden Rule”
This, to me, is the most important guideline of all when dealing with older children. Older children have a very strong sense of self, and a clear idea of what they like or don’t like as well as what they feel is appropriate. In this sense, they’re very much like most adults. So if you want them to respond positively, you should treat them as you’d like to be treated. Don’t talk down to them or treat them with contempt, and take time and effort to explain the rules to them, as far as what purpose they serve.

“Because I said so” may work with the younger children, but not with the older ones. Actually, it never was good enough for me – and it won’t be for them, either! Treat your older children with common courtesy, and expect the same from them. Mutual respect will go along way toward resolving difficulties before they occur.

Now – I believe that anyone who follows the three rules listed will find older children much easier to deal with. I can say that with some confidence since the older children at The Beary Patch make it plain that I’m the one they’d rather have over them, even though they still get in trouble when I’m there. But they know what to expect from me, and they know that I respect them as individuals even while I make it plain that they need to follow the rules or suffer the consequences.

Daycare Discipline: Dealing with Older Children

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